So missed its crazy, like a feeling you dont experiance in a lifetime. its hard to believe the impact a person has on you, much less a mother. i still wait for the next phone call, or the next time she shows up with bags full of toys. when do these thoughts ever begin to subside. the sound of her voice begins to fade, the smell of her skin no longer lingers in the air, but for some reason it seems like any moment she will be back. what is she doing today? is she frolicking in a bed of lillys, or visiting with Jesus? is she planning a family and friend feast, or is she sitting by the waters enjoying a beautiful scene. did she bring some fun goodies to the kids in the mansion next door, or is she planning a a banquet to celebrate our Lord. I will never know, but I could just imagine. Her world is so significant to anything our mind can fathem, the possibilities are endless, I could but dream of the things God has for her to experiance. It hurts so bad to have her away from me, but how selfish would it be to wish her back, for her days here, yet filled with loved ones and much success were days of darkness now that she has seen the light. I can't say she is watching over me, because she as I knew her is no longer, and she worries no more, but she has left a part of herself within me. Some days when I long to see her i face the mirror and the corner of my lip bows down the ways hers did and the eyes tilted in the same direction, and the expression that comes across my face seems to be an image of what she once was. when i long to hear her voice, i speak and my sound is as if it was her. When I am doing chores I see my hands resemble the hands she had. You see just when I think I cant handle being without her, i realize I will never be without her because part of her is in part of me.